


Hallelujah

by SilverSprinklez10



Series: Derp Crew Oneshots [1]
Category: Derp Crew - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Cheating, Derp Crew, F/M, Jealousy, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:28:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24144397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverSprinklez10/pseuds/SilverSprinklez10
Summary: Originally posted on Wattpad.The story about how Steven fell in love and how he fell apart.Rated mature for sexual content and violence.
Relationships: Anthony | ChilledChaos/Jess Bubger, Anthony | ChilledChaos/Steven | ZeRoyalViking
Series: Derp Crew Oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1742383
Kudos: 8





	Hallelujah

**Author's Note:**

> This is a music oneshot based off of the song “Hallelujah.” Bolded words are the song lyrics, italicized words are time skips. If you are looking for a story with a happy ending, this is not the story for you. If you are prepared for the angst, read on.

I never thought I'd ever feel this way. So broken, helpless, lost. You’ve sure created a hell of a story though. And now I’ve created a hell of a story for you. I guess I should have known things wouldn't end well. I guess you figured that out too, or you will soon. Don't worry love, you’ll know what you’ve done to me, to yourself. You’ll know.

_Four years ago_

**I heard there was a secret chord**

“Steven?” My friend Anthony looked me in the eyes, clearly nervous about something.

“Yeah, Anthony?” I said.

Both of us were in the hotel room we were sharing. We were taking a vacation together at Disney World with a whole bunch of our friends. We couldn't decide on a spot until John insisted we come here after Michelle said she and Kristen had never been to a Disney park. Something about ‘corrupting them with the American spirit.’

Anthony sighed. “I have something I need to tell you. Do you promise you won’t hate me?”

“I could never hate you, Anthony,” I said. “I promise.”

**That David played and it pleased the Lord**

Anthony looked at me cautiously. He took a deep breath and then spoke. “I’m bisexual. And I… I like you, Steven. A lot.”

I felt my cheeks burn up as I realized I was blushing. I had feelings for Anthony since we first met, but I always thought he was straight. I knew he liked women because I helped him get over Kara, but I never thought Anthony also liked men. A bubble of happiness burst inside me as I fully processed what Anthony had said. He felt the same way!

I turned to Anthony and smiled with a confidence I never knew I had. “Should we go on a confession spree about how we feel about each other, or should we just hurry it up and kiss?”

**But you don't really care for music, do you?**

Anthony stared at me for a while and processed what I had said, and then he wrapped his arm around my back and pulled me into a kiss. I kissed back, my heart pounding in excitement. The kiss felt like symphonies going off in my head all at once; the intensity of the music bloomed inside of me. I’d never felt so complete in all of my life. I kept my lips against his until I finally ran out of breath, and then I pulled away, gasping for air. Anthony looked at me with a smile on his face.

“So,” he said after a while. “You can’t hold your breath for very long? I guess I can live with that.”

I glared at him and he started laughing. After a while, I couldn't bare how contagious his laugh was anymore and started laughing as well. I didn't know why his laugh was so contagious but hearing it brightened up my day, the symphonies turning into a light-hearted tune of bliss and ecstasy. This day could not have possibly been better. My crush liked me back and everything was well. Nothing could sour up this mood, not even another one of John’s antics.

**Well it goes like this: The fourth, the fifth,**

He pulled me in for another kiss and I complied. This time though, I felt something brush against my lips and I realized that it was his tongue. I opened my lips up and forced my way into his mouth. Our tongues wrestled with each other in a battle that seemed so significant at the time, but once the battle ended it faded into non-existence, replaced by a desire for more.

This time, I was able to breathe without breaking the kiss apart, so the hormones firing off in me kept me going, and I could only assume the same thing was happening with Anthony. It was a moment of passion, desire, and everything either of us could have possibly wanted. It was the beginning of the spark of friendship turning into something much more intimate and real. The beginning of something wonderful.

**The minor fall and the major lift**

We broke apart from the kiss. I looked into his shining eyes, a shining brown that may have seemed dull to others, but to me was the most beautiful color in the world. It made me wonder how he could ever see beauty in my eyes, but that feeling was blocked out with an overwhelming awe of the sight in front of me. I wondered to myself how I got so lucky. How could such a wonderful man like him ever think of wanting someone like me?

His hand slipped into mine and I gladly took it, wanting this blissful moment to last forever. Everything was perfect. It was all better than I had realized could have happened. It was almost a fairy tale with all of the magic surrounding everything. Disney was right, because my dreams became true there.

Anthony looked sheepishly at me and asked me the one thing I had been waiting to hear my entire life, even before I knew I wanted it.

**The baffled king composing Hallelujah**

“Steven, will you be my boyfriend?”

A wide smile made its way upon my face. I had never felt such a rush of happiness in my life; the symphonies reached their final grand chord that was impossible to describe with words. Here was the true point where things could not be better. My life would be complete after saying one simple word. Everything would be the way it was meant to be.

“Yes.”

_Three years ago_

**Well your faith was strong but you needed proof**

“Hey Steven,” Anthony said to me. “There's a friend of mine I’d like you to meet.”

I looked up from my 3DS to see Anthony standing next to a woman who I’d guess is about our age. She had brown hair that came down to her chest. Her dull green eyes looked down at me and then back at Anthony. Both of us waited for what Anthony had to say next. He was the one introducing us, after all.

“Steven, this is Jess, a friend of mine,” Anthony said. “Jess, this is Steven, my boyfriend.”

Jess smiled warmly at me. It wasn't unusual for Anthony to introduce me to his friends that I hadn't met before, but this was the first girl he introduced me to. I was hoping this wasn't an ex-girlfriend of his. I had met one of his ex-boyfriends and that didn't go so well. Plus there was that time when he didn't realize one of his friends was homophobic and then a serious fight went on. Ever since those two encounters, Anthony had been careful with who he introduced me to.

**You saw her bathing on the roof**

I put on a smile and stuck out my hand. She smiled back and shook my hand. Something in her eyes spelled of mischief, and it made me uncomfortable. But this was one of Anthony’s friends, so I had to pretend to enjoy their company. I was never one to have a multitude of friends, unlike Anthony, and I preferred it that way, but that didn't mean I wanted to upset Anthony be distancing myself from his friends.

“So, how did you guys meet?”

“Oh, we're old school friends just catching up,” Anthony said. “Don't worry, this isn’t another Adam or Jordan situation.”

**Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya**

I nodded and went back to playing my 3DS, which I could easily spend hours playing when Anthony didn't distract me. I knew Anthony was bisexual, so I was unsure about the whole Jess situation. An old school friend, or something more? I tried not to think about that and instead focused on defeating that stupid, overpowered Onix right outside the city I needed to go to. But my mind couldn't help itself and I felt uneasy. I knew I was just paranoid for no reason, but I worried anyway.

“Jess and I are going to watch The Jungle Book at the movie theater, you know, the one you didn't want to watch with me. We'll be back in a couple hours.”

“Okay,” I replied. “Have fun!”

As uneasy as I felt, I also knew that I shouldn't be jealous of Anthony spending some time doing something with his friend, especially if it was something I didn't want to do with him. Anthony was kind, compassionate, loving. He’d never do something like that, and it scared me that my brain would even consider thinking that. I guessed that I get too paranoid about not being good enough, which was something I needed to work on. Anthony loved me for a reason, I knew this.

**She tied you to her kitchen chair**

I heard the door close as the two of them walked out of the door and I sighed. Usually, when Anthony introduced someone to me, I got time to talk with them and meet them. Not with Jess apparently. It was an introduction and then off to some movie that probably wasn't going to be very good. I shook my head and focused on my game in front of me. I couldn't be too possessive of Anthony; just because we were dating doesn't mean I had the right to dictate his life.

I let out a small chuckle and focused my attention on my game. I was currently battling the fifth gym. Defeating the fifth gym was actually really easy. It was a water gym and I picked the grass type starter, so that gym got completely crushed. That poor Gym Leader didn't stand a chance. After that easy defeat, I pursued the sixth gym. I spent a while confused on where to find the place with the sixth gym. Sometimes, this game made no sense.

**She broke your throne and she cut your hair**

After finally finding and defeating the sixth gym, I looked at the time and realized that it had been about 5 hours since Anthony and Jess had left. Sure, watching a movie takes a while, but not this long. Did something happen to them? I hoped they weren't in a car accident or anything. They hadn't called me, so I hoped that wasn't the case. I couldn't imagine how I’d feel if a policeman showed up at my door to tell me that my boyfriend was dead.

I saved my game and then I grabbed my phone and texted Anthony asking if everything was okay. I felt my stomach get a little queasy from worry, but I did my best to ignore it. Anthony and Jess were okay. They were safe, they didn’t get into any harm, they’ll be back safe and sound. I had to believe in them. 

After a while of waiting in panic, I got a text back saying that the traffic was killer and that they’d be home soon. I sighed in relief. It was just bad traffic. They were okay. Nothing bad happened. My Anthony was coming home to me soon. I just had to wait patiently.

**And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah**

While in the middle of my thoughts about Anthony and how much I wanted to cuddle with him tonight after being alone for so long, Anthony and Jess walked through the door. I had never been so relieved in my life. Anthony was finally home. He finally came back to me.

“I’m sorry I didn't call you Steven. I just wasn't thinking, with bad traffic being common in California and all. I didn't realize we were gone that long.”

I smiled despite the uneasiness I felt about the whole situation. I tried to ignore the part of my brain that found it suspicious that Jess and Anthony had spent about two hours in traffic. With how bad traffic could be in California, one hour of traffic was expected, but two? Late at night? Stop that, it could have been extra busy today. Or they could have stopped somewhere to get gas or had a snack.

“It’s okay. Just try to think next time.”

_Two years ago_

**Baby, I've been here before**

“How could you do this to me?” I screamed. “I thought you loved me!”

I ran out of our bedroom where Anthony was laying with another girl. Looking closer, I realized that the girl was Jess, Anthony’s so-called friend. I couldn't believe he would do this to me. This was so much worse than what happened with Adam. Ex-boyfriends could be reasoned with. This though, this was unbearable. He actually…

“Please Steven,” he said. “Please, I can explain...”

“Explain what? What is there to explain?”

“Steven, please, just listen to me--”

“How long has this been going on Anthony? How long?”

“Steven--”

**I've seen this room and I've walked this floor**

“How long Anthony?” I raised my voice, tears threatening to fall. “How long?”

Anthony sighed. “Five months.”

How had I not seen this before? All of those nights Anthony came back home late, seeming to be in his own little world. He was too distant all of the time. How couldn't have I seen it all earlier? This was my fault. If I had noticed something was up, this wouldn't have happened. If I was good enough, he wouldn’t have left me at home while he went out and did… who knows what.

“Get out.” My voice sounded so shaky and broken. 

“Steven--”

“I SAID GET OUT!” I screamed. Anthony’s face became fearful as he scrambled to put his clothes on and gather his stuff with Jess doing the same.

**I used to live alone before I knew ya**

After Anthony and Jess got dressed again, I shoved them out of the door and slammed it in their faces. My knees wobbled and I collapsed on the floor in sorrow. I felt so empty inside. This was just a dream. It was all a horrid nightmare. I would wake up in the morning and Anthony would smile at me and tell me how much he loved me. We’d go on dates, he’d eventually propose, and life would be perfect. We would be one. We would live together, grow old together, maybe adopt a kid or two.

I could maybe start over, on my own? Go back to how life was before we started dating? Those moments of just being friends, of laughing together, those moments of pure happiness. I lived alone before we became a thing. I could go back to the way I was. Couldn't I? What was stopping me? Nothing. Right?

**And I've seen your flag on the marble arch**

No, no. I couldn't go back. Not fully, at least. I couldn't go back to those days of admiring him from afar, certain that I could never be his. That state was certain now when before it was only a possibility, I supposed. How was one supposed to illuminate, enlighten, inspire a broken heart like mine? I would know the outcome if we got together again. Next time, if there was ever a next time to be had, I wouldn't be able to do it, to go through the heartbreak again.

How could my heart not break? We were so perfect. We were two peas in a pod, the epitome couple. Or, at least I thought we were. What happened to us? Was it something I did? Was I not handsome enough, not loyal enough, not loving enough? Or was I too clingy? Or was it him? No, it couldn't have been him. He was absolutely perfect.

**And love is not a victory march**

Life was wonderful before this all began. I had it all. I had my dignity, my pride. But now, everything is so hollow. I knew that his perfection could never be mine. I somehow, somewhere deep in there, had this icky feeling, but for some dumb, stupid reason, I had always suppressed it. I never realized that he had been lying to me this whole time. Had he… never loved me to begin with?

I stood up and make the trek to my room. There was no use in staying in the living room forever, waiting by the door for a lover I didn't want anymore. I tried to compose my feelings as I walked, barely holding in the tears. I tried to block out the emotions as I continued to walk deeper into the house that held so many memories of us. With my legs in autopilot, I walked in silence and sorrow until I realized I had arrived in front of the bedroom door. I opened the door without a second thought and walked in.

**It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah**

I sat down on our bed, and when I processed what had happened here, something in me finally broke. I couldn't stop the flow of tears that came even if I wanted to. I sobbed uncontrollably, squeezing the life out of our pillow in an attempt to comfort myself. I felt so hopeless, so alone, so betrayed. How could he have done this to me? How could he have done this to us?

_One year ago_

**There was a time when you let me know**

I cried myself to sleep again. I missed him. I knew that this was only a sign of weakness and nothing more, but I couldn’t stand the pain. I just wanted it to go away. I had tried therapy, dating other people, being angry, but nothing worked. I still hadn't gotten over his betrayal, over him. So many people had asked me if I was okay, but I always kept my emotions in. Everything was fine, everything was okay. Of course, there was nothing wrong, why would there be?

Everything seemed so minor. Nothing really mattered anymore. I could never love anyone the way I loved him. He was my everything. I knew he would always be my everything, as sad as that truth was. Eventually, he’d realize what he had done and then he would come back to me. He’d have to. We had a bond that no one could break, and we still had it. Even through everything. Why did I turn him away? Why did he turn me away?

**What's really going on below**

I remembered all of the times Anthony would tell me about his problems. How he went to a bar to get a drink only to be approached by many women who wanted him. He had always rejected them and came back to me. He was always so sweet. He wouldn’t have cheated on me. He would’ve never willingly cheated on me. He loved me. He cared for me.

We had a real thing going. We’d listen to each other's problems and we’d always be there for each other. We’d tell each other everything. We were happy. Nothing could have ever gotten in the way of our happiness, of us. We were two peas in a pod, happily content with each other, with life, with supporting each other through the rough times. We were happy.

**But now you never show that to me, do ya?**

But he was now off having sex with some girl he had met way back that I never knew. She couldn't have been that important. Just a classmate, someone to complain about teachers with. I had plenty of those acquaintances. But why was this one the one who stole him from me? What was so special about her What did he see in the girl named Jessica?

Did he see a partner or a tool? Did he see a masterpiece or an instrument? Was she something to cherish and admire or something to play with? Was she someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with or was she just there to fill the sexual desires I couldn't give him? Was she there to replace my faults or did she just have better strengths? Why was she with him? Why wasn't it me?

**But I remember when I moved in you**

If my sexual desires were granted when I was with him, why weren't his? Why couldn't I be good enough for him? I remembered the devious smile he’d have on his face when he’d decide to express his love for me. It would always start off with a kiss, so full of passion and desire. There would occasionally be tongue; it really depended on the mood at the time.

We’d both strip down until we both had nothing left on. He was always so careful to prepare me for him, never wanting to hurt me. One finger in, two fingers, three. He always made sure I was comfortable and he assured me that everything would feel better soon. And it always did, without fail.

**And the holy dove was moving too**

Nothing felt as amazing as him inside of me. It was a feeling of pleasure and pain that couldn't be described with words. It was perfect. It was better than any dream, any fantasy, any desire. It was better than anything I could have possibly imagined. He slammed into me, never going too far but knowing not to be too gentle. He knew what I wanted, and he always delivered.

And then after I had gone through those feelings of pleasure, he’d finally hit my prostate. That feeling was so indescribable, so full of both pleasure and pain at the same time. It didn't matter who ended up cuming first. Either way, it was absolute bliss. Nothing could have been more perfect in those moments. Every bruise from how rough we were was worth it. Every time my ass killed me the next morning was a small price to pay for something that was so good.

**And every breath we drew was Hallelujah**

I didn't even notice that I was jerking myself off to Anthony until the white appeared all over the sheets. I took a couple deep breaths, overwhelmed with emotion and the memories. I couldn't believe that after all of this time, my thoughts were devoted to him and him alone. I never realized that someone could have this effect on me. I never knew the price of this… I’d almost call it an obsession. An obsession cursed with shattered dreams.

The tears were still running down my face; they never stopped. I so badly wanted him inside of me, I wanted him to give me his love. I needed Anthony. I needed him in my life.

_Present day_

**Maybe there's a God above**

I know deep in my heart what I am doing is wrong. Anthony’s Italian roots have led him to believe in God, but I am personally agnostic. Although I wouldn't mind converting for him. But the only thing about this is I'm about to break one of the biggest commandments. I hope God up above doesn't mind. He’ll know why I did, and hopefully, that comes into consideration on judgment day.

I walk down to my basement and marvel at the handiwork I had done. A couple of yards away, I see Jess slowly open her eyes. She has a bit of a bruise from where I hit her to knock her out, but she looks otherwise unharmed. That will have to change soon. Her hands are tied behind her back and her legs are tied to the legs of the wooden chair I placed her in. Let the Church choirs sing.

**But all I've ever learned from love**

I smile, twirling the knife in my hands. Jess looks into my eyes with fear and I start to laugh. She's the one who did this to me. She should have known this was a possibility. She took my Anthony away from me, after all. It's time for my revenge. It's time to end my suffering.

“Hello Jess,” I say. “It’s a pleasure to see you again.”

She looks at me with terror, then takes a deep breath. “You may think you’ve won, but you haven't. Anthony will come for me. He always does when I'm in trouble.”

I smirk. “Not this time Jess. The next time he sees you, he’ll be staring at your dead body.”

**Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya**

I laugh as I pull out a knife and walk up to Jess. Her eyes are wide and focused on my blade. I slowly dig my knife into her arm and Jess winces in pain. I slowly make a cut on her arm and Jess does her best not to scream. I know she's hurting; I did my research on the most sensitive parts of the body before I kidnapped her.

I laugh, knowing that Jess will eventually break. “You know,” I tell her. “It won't be long before I hear what I want to hear.”

**And it's not a cry that you hear at night**

After quite a number of cuts, Jess starts screaming. Her screams fill the room and I can't help but smile. To anyone else, her screams would strike terror in their hearts, but to me, her screams are music. I start to slice her stomach this time and the screams continue, my knife the conductor and her screams the instruments. With every cue, another note is played and the blood continues to be spilled.

My laugh grows louder and louder, crescendoing into an accompaniment with the screams already present. With another slice comes another note, and with another note comes the continued accompaniment that makes the piece shine.

**It's not somebody who's seen the light**

The light in Jess’s eyes goes away, like a tired band or orchestra or choir at the end of a concert. All she needs after her performance is some rest, which my knife will also provide. The conductor of such beauty becomes the conductor of death.

In the distance, I hear frantic footsteps running, with a constant calling of Jess’s name. Fair enough, Anthony. You play your melody and I'll play mine. Don't worry Anthony, my song will be over soon. Then we can together at last. Two musicians alone in this world, living happily together. And I thought you didn't care for music. Was I wrong?

**It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah**

I stab Jess in the heart just as the door opens. I turn around and smile. My Anthony has arrived. I don't care for the pools of tears forming in his eyes. He’ll get over it and see that I'm the one for him. Jess was just a bump in the road, after all. He’ll see the truth, that I did all of this for him. And if he doesn't, I'm sure I have ways of persuading him to be mine.

“Jess, no! No...”

“Don't worry Anthony. You have me now.”

**Author's Note:**

> And that is the story. More oneshots originally posted by me to Wattpad will be added to this collection, although they will not all be as dark as this one.


End file.
